I am me. Are you?
(I doubt it, there can only be one me)
And I've already taken on
that responsibility. ~~~~~~(*)~~~~~~
Sorry. You are a stupid fucking retarded
dumbass asshole freak. Well at least there is a good
chance. Most people are.
So you've decided
to venture into the frightening depths of Sremsarodnn's psyche?
Unfortunately, you have come to the wrong place.
Sremsarodnn's psyche cannot be contained in electronic form, to be
displayed on a two-dimensional surface. That is ridiculous.
Exploring this page and all it's portals to related pages will provide
you with a great deal of what appears to be essentially useless
information, and if you are a dumbass, stupid dumbass,
stupid retarded dumbass or a loser, you might regret wasting your
Conversely, in the lucky event that you are not in fact suffering
from any of the unfortunate conditions listed above, you will find many
answers here and perhaps even come to understand the meaning of
However, only those who are highly trained in the art of
tri-lobal thinking and sychronious understanding of parallel meanings
will be able to grasp the true depth and genuine complexity of the
content, and thereby might come to understand the fundamental
constructs that define the mysterious realm of human behavior, both at
its most horrifying and appalling, as well as at its most hopeful and
So it is that without any regret, we will proceed with a close up look
at the face of mental illness:
Amare. Timere. Flere. Eheu, vita est.
Does this look like a deathtrap? So
peaceful... so serene... the last place you'd expect a grisly murder to
be attempted. But alas, appearances can be
They still keep asking me
questions, as if I'm suddenly going to
provide them with a name... but I can't, and I won't. Why don't
they understand? Going to them was hard enough in the first
place. Hell, I never even told my family... the only reason I went to
the cops was because I couldn't live with myself otherwise. It's
simple really. To stay silent and never tell anyone would have
been so much easier, but that would almost be another crime against me,
by myself. I couldn't just curl up and hide forever like he
wanted, because that would be admitting that he was right, that I
deserved to die like a cowardly animal, with no rights, no respect, no
dignity. I couldn't live my life that way, ever. The
thought of living like that, hating myself for my fear and utter lack
of self-respect, letting fear and hatred rule my life... that would be
a fate worse than death. I would rather he'd succeeded and
murdered me. So I went to the police. I went, and I told
them enough. I told them enough that they would know what kind of
monster was out there, enough that they'd be on the lookout.
Enough to prevent him from killing again. But I can't give them a
name. I just can't. He's a cowarldy fool, but he's clever
enough to know they'll catch him if he ever attacks someone else.
Now that they know what I told them, he knows that even the smallest
move will land him in jail for the rest of his life. He values
his freedom too much to risk that. So i've done my duty, he won't
hurt anyone else. Not that he would have, I was the target.
For reasons I cannot reveal, I was the one and only target... and his
only reason for living is to destroy me. Have you ever felt the
sting of a razor sharp blade being pressed against your neck?
Felt the warm trickle of your own blood dripping down your neck?
Or maybe the cold steel of the gun pressed against your temple, the
ropes tearing the flesh of your wrists... If you have, then maybe you
can understand why I can't turn him in. He tried to kill me once
already, and failed. He won't fail a second time. I was
lucky to get away the first time, and that sort of luck doesn't
last. If I tell them who he is, he'll know right away and he'll
kill me. Oh, he'd be caught, and put away for the rest of his
life. Thats the only reason I'm still alive today. He knows
they'd find him if he attacked a second time, so he won't for sake of
self preservation. But if I were to talk, really talk, he'd have
nothing left to lose, and he'd make sure I didn't escape a second
time. I know it. They'd find him, arrest him, and convict
him. But he'd kill me first. There's no doubt about that,
and I refuse to give him my life. So the price I pay for my life
is his freedom, and the price he pays for his freedom is that I did not
die, and I will not let him kill me. No bullet can hurt me. No
gun can kill me. Even a bomb
would probably fail. But he discovered my weakness, and knows the
secret to my demise. I cannot not let him win. So I remain silent, and protect
the hideous truth.
I return to the site of the
attack, and stand triumphant, for I have conquered the irational life
of the unattainable righteousness. Behold the wonder of an inanimate
So it is with that in mind that we
proclaim once more, as is always
suitable following (but preferably preceding) criminal activity: Salve,
Nomen mihi Valeria et sremsarodnn est. Te moneo, cave canem, quod
cum iratus est hominem mordere amat.
= I am a tree.
Editor's Note: Despite the fictional appearance of the
preceeding excerpt, the story is based on an actual attack that took
place on April 23rd, 2005, close to the location pictured above.
The actual details of the crime cannot be released for legal reasons,
as the case is still open and being actively investigated.
However, when the risk of compromising
the ongoing investigation is minimal and the investigators give their
approval, Valerie will provide a detailed account of the actual events,
disturbing and frightening as they may be.
following image is not actual documentation of the attack, but only a
poor recreation of the event for your curiosity.
News from a
less dangerous and violent world:
another publisher has expresed interest
in Sremsarodnn's stories, particularly Sremsarodnn, Feurokadeon and the
Foundations of NRC, Sremsarodnn and the Legend of the Ghost,
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr, and even the satirical tale of Faedwonirilus and the
Wise Duck of Tuisaedo... but of course, they are most anxious to
publish Sremsarodnn and Aideus, the true tale of how the Tuisaedo cult
came into being, it's precursors, and the religion behind it.
What is disturbing
about their interest in these particular stories is that we have no
idea how they came to posess these transcripts. Several are not
even finished being written, and only a very small number of people
have had access to them.
publishing the stories might be interesting, not to mention financially
rewarding, Valerie continues to decline the offers due to the very
nature of the writings, and the fact that hidden within the stories is
an very disturbing account of real events and the hideous reality of
human nature. Valerie will personally explain this matter on this
website at a later date.
particular phenomenon continues to evade Valerie, the one that for the
two weeks she and her brother valiantly fought to witness. Though
the phenomenon has continued to remain unattainable and basically
invisible to the physical senses, the guardians came upon the
beginnings of an even more rare and wondrous natural occurance, deep
folds of NRC. Unfortunately, they also came upon an illegal drug
operation, and Valerie and the guardians narrowly avoided being
soon: Rants -
morality - 8 topics the magic of 32 photographic documentation of
NRC... ...and the photojournals of
The alleged death of Sremsarodnn S.F.D.R.A. club what cannot be known how to interpret hidden meanings The moral code of
(this is a very long
paper...proceed with caution) >
finally.... 12 ways to make your family hate
you (and probably everyone else too)
The New Comprehensive English
(still under construction)
'you were pretty close'
Animal Learning and Cognition: Spatial Learning
Ever wonder what
Plato's Theory of Forms from Aristotle's Theory of Forms?
The Battle of the
WARNING: May lead to excessive boredom. Proceed with caution.
of Fast Food
of the Banana
Webcam thingees #2, starring me and me
Random irrational thoughts
Kirby's Muffin Tragedy
The Poecoary Reew
This is neato.
I know that this site contains alot of very deep and meaningful
and various forms of artistic expression which are difficult to be
all at once. Alot of what can be found here is potentially life
and you may never be the same person again. Please be cautious when
this website - you could be at high risk for extreme cases of
wonderment, and deep incredulity, so serious that you might suffer long
term personality disorders as a direct result.
When viewing this site, please refrain from using french vulgarities
or puking on yourself.. This is NOT that kind of website.
If you have any comments, questions, concerns, suggestions, or you
need to get something off your chest, email me. I am so awesome
will never regret it, unless you offend me, because in that case i
stike you down with a bolt of lightning, or make your eyeballs shrink
the size of peas.
But really, don't worry. I don't bite unless provoked.