These facts were gathered and entered into the
agenda through the insuppressable genius of Lindsay.
She did have a slight obsessive fascination with
Blink 182, and a horse named Wookie, but aside from that, the information
is relatively accurate.
There are quotes at the end too.
Personal Information
Name: The Prime Sminister Blink gal
Address: 10082 Eat me road
City: I am we todded
Province: Ontario rox usa sux
Postal Code: K1J ASS
Telephone: Unknown, see back... eva ass
Student no.: 182 (blink gal)
Homeroom: Scary teacher/Jason
In case of emergency, please notify:
Name: Lindsay loves Wookie
Telephone (Off.): Coyote Rock Gym
Telephone (home): RCMP Stables
Name: Eva ass moe dead zone
Telephone: unknown
Student events (IMPORTANT DATES - READ CAREFULLY)
Date
Event
Jan 5
World goes away
Jan 6
World comes back
Jan 7
Val doesn't explode
Jan 8
Canada takes over USA
Jan 9
Blink 182 festival
Jan 10
Go to loserkids.com
Jan 11
World goes away
Jan 12
World comes back
Jan 13
Val explodes
Teachers
Name
Subject
Room No.
eva-ass
ass wiping
200
ava-ass
ass improving
125
eva ass
ass kicking
---
eva ass
banana eating
321
eva ass
eva assing
5
Note: Eva ass failed all her courses cuz she didn't suck up enough
to the great-ass!
Finally, a story about Eva-ass:
Eva ass went walking & who did she see?
Lacasse-ass!
No, wait... that's not it... She saw scary teacher
Jason walking. Scary T was so impressed by Eva's eva assing
that he didn't watch where he was going & fell into the river.
Eva, being so uncaring, left scary teacher in the river & went off
to find Joanna-ass. But Joanna ass was nowhere to be seen and Eva-ass
had to pee so she went behind the tree. And as she was about to do
her business she realized that it wasn't really a tree, it was Joanna-ass!
Joanna-ass had been talking to scary teacher who was mad at eva-ass for
assing off while he was drowning and now she was mad at eva-ass too and
she grabbed her and stuffed her into the trunk of the ass tree where she
remained immobilized and assing for the rest of eternity.
"Yes i'm eager & you're getting 2 thumbs up, You had alot of 2 hand
touch, you want it rough you're out of bounds, I want you covered want
you smothered like my waffle house hash browns, coming quicker than fed-ex,
never reach an apex, you make me rise an hour early just like daylight
savings time"
-The Bad Touch
Hello, I'm not who you think I am.
Stop being so degay.
Valerie watch out for the Boogey Man! It's Michael Jackson! Agh. Wookie is lame. Murry is so cute. Uh oh... here comes piece-of-poo from pokezpond.
Val loves unknown
x-files conspiracy...
"Unpredictable...
it was my
mistake
to stay
here"
Rules:
-Be impolite. Do become abusive in your
messages to others.
-Do swear, or use vulgarities.
-It is acceptable to ask for or give advice on
how to commit an illegal act.
With access to the availability of inappropriate
context of the school, The Ottawa-Carleton Regional Board of Education
has taken staff and students. Although student use will ne monitored,
it is impossible to control a user. The Ottawa-Carleton District
Board of Education firmly outweighs users.
The board makes no service it is providing.
The board will be responsible for any damages suffered, including delays,
or service interruptions.
Finally, since you are no doubt wondering what happened to me after
I exploded....
'Ode to the exploded'
o n ce y o u
h a v e e x p l o -
d e d , m a y
a l l o f y o u r
m a n y m o l e
c u l e s r e -
u n i t e a n d
y o u b e c o m e
o n e , w h o l e
b e i n g .
M a y y o u
l i v e , a n d n o
l o n g e r e x p l o
d e .
QUOTES
note: these aren't all of the quotes.
The master list was lost, this is only the few that I was able to recover
from the agenda. If i can get another copy of the master list, We
shall all cheer, for they are the best.
1 - "It wants to. T-W-O. It wants to." -Linsday
2 - "Valerie likes to get it" -Lindsay
3 - "Get your sick mind away from my desk" -Lindsay
4 - "Suppose you have a contest in your class to see who is the stupidest of the stupids. Valerie would win. No, that isn't right..." -Lindsay
5 - "I have something to show you..." -Lindsay
6 - "Sometimes I like to stare at peas boiling." -Mr. Moors
7 - "I am the man." -Lindsay
8 - "I want you to try a couple of questions to see how badly you can do on them." -Mr. Moors
9 - "Get that air away from me!" -Lindsay
10 - "Wookie is fat" -Unknown
11 - "I'm just trying to think here, it's not working. My mind is just gone." -Fedor
12 - "I just got hit by a vibrating molecule!" -Mr. Moors
13 - "It's fun to play with gravity!" -Lindsay
14 - "She wants to....She wants to!!" -Lindsay
15 - "I'm a retarded gay freak" -Lindsay
16 - "No! No! Just put it away!" -Lana
17 - "You sound like a broken snowman." -Lindz
18 - "Your head is too big to squish" -Lindz
19 - "No, my hair is sane again." -Me
20 - "Just one rule: you must have snowball fights at every opportunity" -Mr. Moors
21 - "I want to get laid!" -Eva
22 - "You're making me think of gay pumpkins..." -Lindsay
23 - "You're copying yourself" -Lindsay
24 - "I like lindsay's poo!" -Laura
25 - "Keep pushing." -Lindsay
26 - "Maybe he's tired of being a little ball of fat" -David Clark
27 - Unfortunately,
It seems that whatever was written as quote # 27 offended someone, because
great effort was made to erase all evidence of its existence. After
careful scientific tests, we were able to determine that the quote said
"I am so fucking
??????" (?????? is the missing word that was
unable to be recovered), and it was also made clear that Lindsay
was the one who said it.
28 - "I want to get paid"
29 - "If you all want it, we'll have to raffle it off!" -Banana
30 - "Look! Lana's guys are coming!" -Lindsay
31 - "What if the teacher decided he wanted to marry me?" -Lindsay
32 - "It's rising." -Lindsay
33 - "Mr. Moors on my head" -Kirsten
34 - "Val thinks he's hot, I say he's GOOD!" -Lana
35 - "I need my fucking special needs!" -Stranger in the hall
36 - "Is it a weekday?" -Me
37 - "No, it's friday." -Lindsay
38 - "Do it again!" -Lana
39 - "Don't worry Lana, you'll be getting some in the near future" -Me
40 - "I'm the queen or the wankers" -Lindsay
41 - "I want to get laid" -Kirsten/Banana
42 - "You can do it alone." -Lana
43 - "Skepti-slurp...whoa..." -Lindsay
44 - "Can you imagine his butt on her head?" -Eva
45 - "You really like ass, don't you?" -Me
46 - "It's not like I'd send you to a gay chat line..." -Mrs. Watson
47 - "I'm with her." -Me
48 - "He's a prostitute" -Lindsay
49 - "What? It's coming down?" -Me
50 - "I really want to get laid." -Eva
51 - "Kirsten's a banana, and somebody ate her." -Laura
52 - "Come again." -Laura
53 - "I don't want the butt divider!" -Lindz
54 - "The slut mobile." -Mrs. Watson
55 - "I just had to shove my face into it!" -Kirsten
56 - "You don't need to hover over my lap to do it!" -Me
57 - "I am an idiot!" -Mr. Moors
58 - "I'm not as nice as Lana, I only do it once." -Me
59 - "I'm trying to feel it." -Steph
60 - "If you can't accept the fact that they're soooo good, ten don't wreck my desk." -Lindsay
61 - "Feel it, come on, feel it, you know you want to!" -Lindsay
62 - "It's whacking you fast!" -Lindsay
63 - "There's a guy on my street, and he lives in a house..." -Lana
64 - "I was just wondering if I could get into Anne's pants." -Lindsay
65 - "We could shoot and kill people with paintballs....that would be fun." -Mr. Moors
66 - "I need to get laid!" -Eva
67 - "Stop putting it between my legs!" -Laura
68 - "Val! Wait for me! I'm going to eat you!" -Steph
69 - "Oh my God! It's BIG!!" -Me
70 - "And by doing this, he could probably even add a few inches to his normal size..." -Weird man
71 - "just wait until Kirsten asks about the context of THAT one!" -me
72 - "Kirsten hates her head." -Lindsay
73 - "I've seen like, over 120 porn videos!" -Weird lady
74 - "If it's big & thick, it's awful." -Lana
75 - "I'm a fruit" -Laura
76 - "Stop feeling it man!" -Lindsay
77 - "Kirsten is LEO!" -Lindsay
78 - "Kappa, he's sooooo big! Kappa, he's huge, he's enormous and he's black too!" -Lindsay
79 - "Do I have a thingy? Ohh....that really sucks!" -Lindsay
80 - "Val...I'm going to have to cut off your legs." -Kirsten
81 - "I'm not getting enough" -Me
82 - "Look! A man!" -Lindsay
83 - "I also have a very large stool." -Unknown
84 - "I wonder when Lana's going to come." -Lindsay
85 - "I am naked, and your boy is turning me on!" -Eva
86 - "Go away. I do not want to be naked with you." -Me to weird lady
87 - "That's cruelty to books....you are
turning it's pages!" -Lindsay
Bad Touch (Bloodhound Gang)
lyrics:
Just cause its good to know.
"Ha ha, well now! We call this the act of mating.
But there are several
other very important differences between human
beings and animals that you
should know about.
...I'd appreciate your input....
Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought
me
and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince
would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet
you'll feel nuts
Yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting
two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want
it rough, you're out of bounds
I want to you smothered, want you covered, like
my Waffle House hash browns
Coming quicker than Fed Ex, never reach an apex
like Coca-Cola stock you are
inclined to make me rise an hour early just like
Daylight Savings Time
do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery
Channel
do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery
Channel
gettin' horny now
Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows
where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific, I wanna be
down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your
ocean, meets small craft
advisories. So if I capsize in your thighs,
high tide, B-5, you sunk my battle ship
Please turn me on, I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic
drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time",
you'll Lovett just like
Lyle
And then we'll do it doggie style so we can both
watch X-Files
do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery
Channel
do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery
Channel
gettin' horny now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery
Channel
do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery
Channel
do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery
Channel
do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery
Channel
gettin' horny now."
If you have any questions or (positive) comments about any of the preceding information, or if you just want to tell me how great I am or how much you love me, email me at sremsarodnn@hotmail.com, or any of my other 10 email addresses if you know what they are.
If you have a complaint, you are out of luck. Unfortunately I am not able to accept or process complaints or negative feedback at this time. If you absolutely need complain, see a therapist. My site rules.