So one day I was having a very calm and pleasant conversation with myself, and I was telling me a nice story about a dog and a chicken who were wonderful friends.
See?
Friendly, pleasant.

It seemed like such a great conversation, and I was listening to me so attentively, or so I thought I was.
 
 
 
 
 
 

But although I was in a great mood and I thought the story was charming, (the other) I was bored and I wanted to make me stop.  I decided the best way to get me to shut up was to do something so horrible, so vile and offensive to me that I would be shocked into silence.
So I reached up over my head to myself and grabbed my chest.

I was so shocked, so violated and scandalized, so aghast at myself that just like I expected,  I was completely speechless.
And while I was shocked and angry and wanted to get revenge on me, I thought it was funny and laughed at me.

I was hurt that I was laughing at me, so I was even more angry at me, and I thought that made it even funnier so I laughed at me more.
Finally I couldn't take me anymore, so I prepared to bite me.


 

I wasn't expecting me to bite me, so I had no idea what I was doing until it was too late...
 
 
 
 

Ouch!  I bit me!  What a b****!  I can't believe I just bit me!  OW OW OW OW!
I'm so glad I bit me, because now I'll never try to grab me again.  If I do, I'll bite me again.  Nobody touches me without my permission, not even me.

I was so mad that I bit me, and even more mad at me because I was still biting me and wouldn't let go, that I reached up to slap me.
 
 
 


 

I saw the slap coming, but I wasn't fast enough to get out of my way and smack, I got slapped (by me!).

Nasty.  I had no idea I was such a perverted and violent person.  I thought I was nice, and now I have no respect for me.  Who ever would have thought that sweet, innocent me would be one to feel me up, bite, and slap me?  Not me.  I can hardly believe it.  So shocking!
 

My face hurt from being slapped by me.  My finger hurt from being bitten. I sat trying to comprehend the pain in my face while I sat and sulked about my injured finger, and thought about how I disliked the other me.

 
 
 

Finally, as the pain and surprise faded, I realized how angry I was at me.
 

so I sat there glowering at me while I was sulking at me.


 

Wow, I was being a baby!  But so was I, we both were.

Everyone knows that I can hold a grudge, and very stubbornly too.
I can't help it, I'm a scorpio. (If you go for that crap)
But seriously, if I hadn't done something, I'd probably not ever have talked to me again.
But I'm smarter than that.
I hold a grudge maybe, but I'm not so stupid to throw away a good friendship over a silly little spat.
So I apologized to me for being mean and stupid, and I said I was sorry for everything, and I am friends with me again.

I listen to my stupid stories, and respect my personal space, and most importantly, I don't bite myself, and now I get along with me very well.
I think we can all learn a lesson from this.